I think the thing that I like most about people is their uniqueness. I love how people could have a list of things in common but subtle differences mean they are completely different.
I don't want to get into the 'nature vs nurture' argument (because I personally believe you can't completely separate the two) but the experiences someone has in their life impacts who they are. The way you respond to something is for a reason. Perhaps that reason is unknown to you, but it exists.
When it comes to me, there is a lot people don't see. They don't know what experiences I've gone through and what impacts that has had on me. I'm a very self-aware person and so I can see exactly why I respond in this way to this thing. I don't try to change my reactions either, I just let them happen.
It's interesting though when I let people into the reality. They seem quite shocked. I'm not; I guess I'm desensitized to it now. But I think it helps people to understand. I don't always want to tell people though - it's tiring and embarrassing and it affects their judgment of other people, and I don't know how fair that is.
I make decisions in my life and I hold certain beliefs because of what I've been through. They might be extreme or contradictory to what the "normal" person believes but I am shaped by my circumstance.
I think we would all do well to think a bit more before we speak when it comes to criticising someone's morals or beliefs, particularly if they are in sharp contrast to our own. We need to think 'WHY do they believe this? Something happened to steer them onto this course and instead of judging, perhaps we should just accept that for what it is.'
I often find myself embarrassed because people say to me 'that's stupid' or 'don't be ridiculous' etc etc. I don't want to tell these people all the nitty-gritty details of my life. And I shouldn't have to. I think it's enough to hold my beliefs; they demand the same respect I afford you of yours.
Let's all just remember that you can't always walk a mile in their shoes, so just accept their views at the start of the long road of friendship.
Xx
Love this post Jasmine.
ReplyDeleteI read an article not too long ago actually that was about people saying "don't be ridiculous" / "you're over-reacting" etc, and how it is actually a form of emotional abuse. Everybody deals with things differently, because we've been through different things.
I think it's a testament to what a strong person you are when people are surprised to find out your story has been harder than they imagined it would be.
Aw thank you :-) emotional abuse? Wow I never thought of it that way. It actually is!!
ReplyDeleteI liked our chat the other day! It's good to learn things about people that make you appreciate more fully what they bring to the table. And I think accepting others helps us accept ourselves too. Would you agree?
This was such an interesting post, and I do agree with you in everything. I'm very self-aware too and know how and why I act, react and think the way I do.
ReplyDeleteBut it's really annoying when people don't understand that we're all "products" of so many circumstances. It's the same thing when people judge other countries, cultures etc.
Hope you had a nice weekend! //Niina